Exalt the new God!

I'm thinking about writing my own quasi-spiritual novel in order to form the foundation of my own hack religion. I mean, this worked for the likes of L Ron Hubbard. And It would be awesome to bring in a sizable load of funds. Money for nothing and my chicks for free.

You think Summer Glau might join? Ignore the fact that she's smoking hot. Ok, don't ignore it, you can't, but set that aside for a few minutes. She's both a trained dancer and martial artist. Who doesn't want someone like that around? My compound is going to need a dancy-ass-kicker to keep the peace. Hell, any of the female members of the cast of Firefly. Viva La difference!

I don't think my bullshit capabilities are up to par. I'd get Jamal white and Paris Hilton. Pessimistic of me, yes, but also a realistic assessment of my skills in creating a whirlpool of mumbo-jumbo and then selling it to the spiritually devoid.

But really, in the Apocalypse, who wants to hole up with a bunch of movie stars? Sure, they're pretty. That doesn't really come at all in handy. Less so when you realize that a fair number of celebrities are psychologically damaged attention whores(not all of them, but enough). Put five or ten of them together and will it be like watching the cast of Jersey Shore? Stupid, petty drama.

I can live without that. Maybe. I suppose it would be better than being alone.

If I have my say, I want people with practical skills(ie, the shit on this list). Not borderline sociopath who plays make-believe really well. (Un)fortunately, Scientology seems to have scooped most of the cracked cases up. Kudos to you Scientology for your goldmine!

Creating a religion is a grand tradition in humanity, and quite useful. Just ask the Jews. Their shared collection of stories and beliefs have held them together through conquest after conquest. Then dispersal. And finally genocide. They have for years faced discrimination and worse from both the pagans and gentiles amongst whom they lived. And though they're now spread across the face of the world, they're still a collective culture who sees itself as a single people. No matter the color of the individual's skin. Maybe that's how they've managed to take over the world!*

*SARCASM. That was a sarcastic statement. As sarcasm is difficult to judge via text, I felt the need to add this disclaimer. So, thin-skinned assholes who are easily offended by stereotypes, and Nazis/Rednecks/Klansmen or whoever, Kindly refrain from emailing me,

The important part about starting a religion isn't the details, though those will come later, it's the ability to bullshit and stick with your story and convince the gullible that you know what you're talking about. Example, Joe Smith. Part of his spiel was that an angel had given him a set of gold tablets that nobody else was allowed to see. They purportedly held the story of the Native American peoples, who were lost tribes of Israel. I shan't go further, but I will admit that I am a cynic when it comes to prophets and their tales.

So, create an interesting set of stories that present some moral lessons. Claim to have received spiritual wisdom from on high and then stick by my guns.

Religion has two main effects. The good is that it strengthens the bonds within the group and makes them a people rather than a number of individuals. The society now has a common thread. This is what religion has been used for since the dawn of time. Why the Roman Emperors adopted Christianity when they did. They seek unity.

The down side of having an US means that you need a THEM. And outsiders are usually considered less valuable. They don't share your culture or beliefs. You know nothing about them and who the outsiders are or how they will behave. They are frightening and potentially dangerous, rather than fellow humans. How easy it is to strike out violently against the unknown other and treat them in a manner that doesn't befit another human being. In a way that you wouldn't even treat an ox.

So, I gotta watch out, or this religion thing can backfire on me. And potentially on the whole of humanity, depending on how good my story is. Still any hot female doctors out there who want to get in on the ground floor?