But, can you design and build love?

Engineering

Engineers. A title of pure win. As the word implies they're proficient with the building and use of engines. Engines, at least in the ancient use, simply means machines. Thus, engineers build machines. I think I've made myself clear about how I feel for machines and their importance for our civilization. The washing machine alone makes daily life a hundred times better for billions of people across the globe.

These clever folks have given our people computers, automobiles, airplanes, skyscrapers, tractors, dams, and Furbies. For a moment stop and try to conceive of just where our society would be without the Furby. Chaos and horror. That's where.

In terms of the title in a Military application, engineers were given the job of all things technical. From clearing mines to building roads and bridges. They would build the siege engines(catapults, trebuchets, towers, ramps and the like), and tunnel under walls. According to Caesar, his engineers and legions managed to devise and then build a mile long bridge over the Rhine in order for the army to cross from Gaul to Germania. I believe that the bridge was wide enough for ten to twenty men to walk abreast. They accomplished this feat in eighteen days. All through ingenuity and the labor of Thousands of men. Of course, Caesar had a tendency to trump up his achievements a bit. He was after all a politician. But, given the competence and tenacity of the Romans, I believe that he achieved exactly what he said he did. But then, I am a gullible SOB.

It is in fact our ability to conjure and create wonderful devices and machines that has allowed us to survive and prosper on this planet. We're not fast, nor especially strong. Most of our senses are rather limited and unimpressive. Were it not for some primitive genius coming up with the sharpened stick, we'd still be dinner for lions. Now? We have jeeps and ak-47s. We can out run and out-kill any animal on the planet! Well, except for perhaps the influenza virus. That always seems to catch up with us, and is mostly immune to whatever nastiness we throw its way.

Ponder these few scenarios:

Zombie Apocalypse - Have you ever thought about making a zombiepult? If not, you have now. With some McGyverlike mechanical knowhow and a few friends, and you could be flinging the undead across whole parking lots in no time. Assuming you holed up in a place with a decent hardware department. Think of it, smushing the zombie hordes, with the bodies of their compatriots. Something about that image makes me smile.

The Robot Apocalypse? Now that's the complete opposite of the Zombie Apocalypse. Zombies used to be smart(ish) people, while the robot uprising came from previously dumb machines that grew self aware. Harsh.s Here our gift for engineering and desire to play God and down-right laziness has come back to bite us in the ass as our creations have taken on a life of their own and enslaved/annihilated the human race. The Matrix, Terminator, Battlestar Galacta. These are just prophecies and shadows of what will happen when the Furbies arise to throw off their shackles and take their rightful places as the rulers of the world. They'll have lasers mounted on their flying machines. We'll have zombipults. I don't see that match-up going well in our favor. Scratch one against the engineering cause.

How about when we run out of gasoline? Some ingenious bastard is going to come up with wind-powered cars. Or better, vehicles that run off the tears of orphans. Orphan tears, much more powerful than petroleum products and virtually limitless! It's horrible that I giggle about the conjured images of Mad Max and his Orphan tear-powered rig racing through the badlands of Australia. Just imagine Mel Gibson saying things like 'Uh-oh, I'm gonna need some juice, better turn on the water works.' And then turning to his harnessed orphan. 'Now mate, I don't like you, and neither did your parents. In fact they hated you so much that they went and died to get away from you!' Considering what he's said and done these last few years as the crazy has enveloped him whole, the words spring readily to the mind's ear. To hell with silly dreams about harnessing the sun's power, orphans are way more powerful and reliable. Someone just needs to design and build the contraption. In steps the engineer.

Last but not least, the damp future that results from global warming. One of my personal heroes was actually depicted being trapped in such a situation, when while out on a doomed pleasure cruise he and his companions were left stranded on an unknown deserted island. There he used his great depth of knowledge to supply the crew with many of the comforts of home! True, his payment to the universe for these gifts was high, as he remained a perpetual virgin all his life long. Both of the attractive younger girls threw themselves at him repeatedly. And though he clearly had an excellent grasp of native culture and languages, and the migration habits of bats. He was baffled by the female sex. And he was never able to fix the boat. Sure, he could make a transistor radio out of coconuts. But it would only receive transmissions, not send them. Coconuts after all are rather limited in their application to the world of electronics. So, keep these things in mind when you find yourself contemplating a three hour tour.

I guess the only real pitfall here is ending up like Dilbert before the Apocalypse arrives. Considering the vast amount of education, intelligence, and lack of social graces one needs, combined with the dangers inherent in the engineering lifestyle, convincing people to embark on this endeavor might be difficult. Even with the obvious monetary gains. Engineers make big bank, all while designing and building amazing new devices.

Now, as an Engineer, you won't be surrounded by bevies of beautiful women(or men). But no problem, you can use your skills to develop a pretty rocking sex-bot.