Saturday, September 14, 2013

Exercising that leather fetish... or more likely not.

When was my last post?  I am not sure, as I am too damnedabally lazy to go and look.  I can only say for certain that it was sometime before yesterday.

In the mean time I've been adding improvements to my stronghold and honing my various skills to a razor's edge making me one of the most dangerous men on the planet... is what I would be saying if I hadn't in fact spent the last period of time between posts playing video games and wanking while crying myself to sleep.

Good times.

I have since discovered that leather crafting is an expensive hobby/trade to take up.  Sometime over the course of the last few weeks I decided that Leathercrafting would really pair well with chainmail in some sort of twisted nerdgasm.

So, I returned to that wonderland that the kids call 'the information super highway' and did some research on mastery of leather, which returned interesting results that took some time to sort through and got me well off of track.

When I left behind that magical kingdom I finally began to learn about making objects in leather.  Because this is me I started with a book.  Followed by paradoxically greatest paradise and cesspool that the nets have to offer, Youtube.

Youtube is fantastic resource as passionate and talented people make helpful videos about nearly every subject on the face of the planet.  Of course there are the clueless retards that  you have to wade through as they spill their dreck all over your electronic 1s and 0s.  But that's the price you pay for free knowledge - getting covered in the flung feces of the denizens of Moronica as they crawl out of their dank basements.

According to the people who make and sell leather goods, as well as those who supply the tools and materials, Leather is a fantastic, almost magical, substance that can be used for just about anything.  In my zombie uprising series, I clad several of my characters in leather clothing in lieu of heavier armor.  Leather seems perfect for such a scenario, as many bikers can attest to.  Besides, it just looks cool.  So this is something that I have been thinking about for a while.

Onto step two.  Finding the tools to do the job.  Here's where we call back to the opening.  Leatherworking is expensive.  When I started chain mail, my toolkit consisted of two pairs of needle nosed plyers, a good pair of wirecutters(an absolute must - my first set hardly worked and I bruised my hands while cutting my first coil), a 3/8th inch steel dowel to wind the wire, and a clamp to hold the wire onto the dowel(also used as a handle to wind the wire) and finally at least one heavy duty leather glove.  Throw in some wire and you got yourself the basics of a hobby  - I added additional dowels of various sizes, as well as wire in various sizes and metals.

All in all, even with a quarter mile of galvanized steel wire, the set-up cost around $100.  Mind, I didn't get top of the line gear.  My wirecutters cost a whopping $4 - but they do the job(I took a coil of the wire to Sears to test prospective replacements).

I got my kit half off and it still cost $200.  I will be up front and say that you can easily find cheaper kits that come with the basics.  But I wanted something that was comprehensive and complete in its own right.  I struggled with the decision as I know myself and I am unreliable with things of this nature - who knows how long I'll keep at this new hobby.  Isn't that right Mandolin?

The day after I ordered my kit I got a call from my local Tandy Leather Location.  They can ship the goods to me, but since I had a address here in town, I could come pick it up and save the $20 on shipping!

Fuck yeah I'll do that!  I'm a cheap bastard and they're on my way home from work.  Unfortunately Tandy Leather keeps banker's hours - and I got a late start.

I arrived and after wandering around and looking lost (part ingenious ploy, part inherent stupidity) I was asked if I needed help.  Indeed yes I did.  She brought out my kit and I rediscovered that old truism "Everything is better when given to you in a bucket!"  Yep, the Tandy Pro Leatherwork Tool Set comes in a five gallon plastic bucket - putting it in the same bracket with those other bucket dwelling commodities Pudding and Chicken.

Leathercrafting has arrived in the big time.

With more wandering around and looking lost, and then getting help(I refuse to ask damn it!) I was able to acquire everything I need to get a project started.

So far I've done nothing.  I'm approaching this in a different manner than my normal "Jump in and do shit!" method that works well enough on other projects.  Leather seems to take foresight, as it appears that the process is a one-way street and when a step is passed, you cannot back up.

When I was making chainmail, I had a project in mind.  Making a chainkini bottom for a beautiful woman(a specific beautiful woman - not some random chick off the street).  I need this sort of inspiration to overcome the gravity of my laziness.

My first goal is to make gauntlets. Sweet looking gauntlets that the zombie hordes cannot bite through.

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