Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Art of the Silver Tongue.

Or maybe slippery tongue. Silver might not get you to where you're going.

No, I'm not referring to being able to use words to sway people, though that is beneficial to say the least and nobody can really argue that point. No, I'm sticking to the gutter where I belong and am referring to the act(s) of Oral Sex.

This one will be short as it applies to every conceivable scenario I can imagine equally.

For those of you who live under a rock, or just like my explanations of the obvious, Oral Sex is giving another human(usually) sexual pleasure using your mouth through a combination of licking, kissing, and sucking. Use of hands is optional but generally appreciated. Mastery of Oral Sex will get you far in life, maybe. At the very least it will make you a lot of friends and keep your lovers happy and content. So feel free to learn and practice the art of giving head for your day to day life. You may need to rely on it some day.

Watch as George Carlin sums up the value of said skill in rather straight forward words and imagery. George lives his life by the unwritten book. Enjoy.

So, go out and find someone to practice on today. Any women aged 18 through 35, I will be glad to be your study partner.

How does this transfer to the Apocalypse? Well extrapolate on George Carlin's words and just imagine that You're in Barter Town, Aunty Entity asks you what you can do to get your car back... You may be slow of speech, but she'd still be impressed that you were quick of tongue. Boom, you gots your car back and a tank full of the juice, and you managed to avoid fighting Blaster-Master in Thunderdome. Which is cool, cause even in a shit-hole the likes of BarterTown hitting retards still isn't cool. Especially retards with super-human strength and access to chainsaws.

Sometimes it's just wiser to take one in the mouth. Thanks Mr. Carlin.

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