Rope. A series of interwoven strands of fiber or string. Not metal, that would be cable. Rope has been an essential tool for our sad little species for some 28,000 or more years. Rope can be put to use hoisting sails. If you have enough you can weave a net. It's useful in the art of decorating pottery. With some knots, heavy ropes make a nice bludgeon. Need to climb a building or repel down a canyon? Well Rope has your back. You can tie maidens to railroad tracks to taunt the hero. Or execute the villains by stringing them up at the nearest tree. Mind you don't get an innocent bystander, cause the apocalypse is a bitch enough to survive without an angry and righteous bounty-hunter following your every move trying to enact his vendetta of revenge. I know, had it happen to me once. Dick shot me, even after I got him a card by way of apology.
Clearly Hallmarks line of "Sorry for lynching you, we thought you were someone else" greeting cards are less effective than advertised.
You know who always has it? Charles Bronson. That's right, the bad-assed beatdown in a sock mofo Chuckles. And Samwise Gamgee. Can't forget good loyal trustworthy Sam the Boyscout. He always comes prepared he does! Well, that isn't true, that dumbass forgot to bring rope when he left the Shire, and then again when the company left Rivendell. But hey, what can you really expect from a sidekick after all? If you're lucky, loyalty and skill with rope. And maybe mad ninja skills for when he/she can't lay their hands on rope.
Lord of the Rings and Boondock Saints references aside, rope is still a useful asset to have in a bind. Or to have for a bind.
But in order to squeeze every last drop of value from this multi-functional and adaptable resource, there are some tricks to master. that's where investing some time learning some proper knot-tying comes in-handy. Rope is rather useless if you don't know how to tie a knot. Cue the impotence double entendre! There are hundreds of different knots. From simple knots using a single piece of rope, to attaching two ore more into a single line. The ability to knot rope is what makes it so damn versatile in the first place. Really, what woman doesn't go wild for a man who can't tie a knot in a cherry stem? Or even another woman. That's pretty hot. We don't even need to get into the bondage possibilities.
Global Warming - Look, sea-levels have risen. My mutant ass will probably be on a boat. A sailboat at that, since I don't really trust my chances in getting my hands on a reliable supply of petrol to make a boat go. Have you ever seen a sailboat? Those things are covered with ropes that desperately need to be tied. And how else can I plan to attach grappling hooks to the end of a rope for a good old-fashioned boarding? This skill is not merely useful, it's necessary. 10/5
Ideally, I tend to see myself on a boat for pretty much all the other scenarios. Though I doubt my stomach will thank me for it. Or the rest of the crew after the fiftieth rendition of a certain song. I think that I've listed enough reasons previously for land dwellers to take the craft of knot-tying seriously, from improved mobility to improvised weaponry, rope has it all. Even zombies will learn to fear the wrath of the rope. There will be all sorts of buildings to scale, villains to tie, and aliens to hang. Being able to tie the right knot for the occasion will get you all the nookie. Recognize. 5/5
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